How To Make a Korean Flower Arrangement

Before getting started, gather your supplies. You will need:

• 1-2 yards of pink and gold netting
• 16 pieces of pink and purple tissue paper
• A giant pink bow
• 18 silver twist ties

Now let's get started. Oh wait, I almost forgot you need flowers, too. Although that's not really the point of a Korean flower arrangement. If you have a couple flowers, you might as well throw them in. Now let's really get started.

Step One: Heap your pink and purple stuff into a huge pile to admire the sheer mass of it.

Step Two: Get some flowers. If you don't have any, it doesn't matter. A Korean flower arrangement has very little, if anything, to do with actual flowers.

Step Three: Contemplate if you really want to even include flowers in your arrangement. They're just so... understated.

Step Four: Decide to include your flowers, but cover each one individually with pink and purple tissue paper to mask the fact that they are actual flowers.

Step Five: Group tissue bunches (*sigh* and flowers) into a bouquet and cover with several more pieces of tissue paper. Oops! I still see green!! More tissue!!

Step Six: Assess your bouquet. I can still see too many flowers. More tissue!!

Step Seven: While there is no visible green anymore (thank goodness!) it still doesn't look enough like a bad 80's prom dress. More tissue! And netting! And a bow!

Step 8: Admire your breathtaking creation. Who knew that a flower arrangement could be so elegant and classy? It's like the alluring flicker of a neon sign advertising a 24 hour pawn shop. Simply breathtaking.

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Note: While I wish I could take credit for making this *ahem* thing... I actually received the fully assembled bouquet from one of my students and it took me about 10 minutes to get all the tissue, ribbons, netting and twist ties off of it to find the actual flowers inside! The crazy part is, this is actually one of the more tasteful bouquets I've seen!

The Strangest Letter I've Ever Received

Your guess is as good as mine...

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Copied Verbatim

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TO Miss Becky....

Miss Becky... It teaches me during that time and it gives and from it thanks.

The teacher where I am different will do and there will not be a teacher to the bedspread.

[u] [ang] The difficulty teacher and crab inside the the place where it wants studying together.....

Oh.....

The (heart) teacher, during that time, truth it thanked.

Miss Becky, True trut it thanks, it loves.

After word the may sun it plays come certainly to school ~ I love you ~

from Alice it raises

Konglish and Beyond

Poor advertising strategy.

When cutesy gets creepy.

I sort of feel like we should've chosen another brand of gym clothes to give to our students.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure.

Oh, Outkast, you have changed the way we speak forever (ever).

I want to relive that stress!! Sign me up!!

I can't even come up with a good caption for this one. What the heck kind of shirt is this??

Obscure writing on the back of a calendar I bought. I had no idea that was how the temperature was controlled...

Is this what I think it is??

It sure is. Nothing says class like a toothbrush holder shaped like feces.

V Day

Valentine's Day envelopes for my students, stuffed with cards from their classmates.

I have never liked Valentine's Day. This year, I really began to ask myself why. Was it the abundance of gaudy pink and red merchandise? Was it the sheer consumerism of it all? I liked to think that these were some of the reasons behind my feelings, but today I dug a little deeper and realized it's none of those things. It's just plain disappointing.

Just like the fairy tales I heard as a little girl, I feel like Valentine's Day generates a lot of hype for what's bound to be more like a soul-crushing dose of reality than a happily ever after. Whether I've been in a relationship or not on this amorous day, it never fails to disappoint. If I'm not in a relationship, sure there's the in-your-faceness of all the couples around who seem to be living the Valentine's Day dream, but even when I've been in a relationship, the cliche box of chocolates and red roses just leave something to be desired.

Where's the spontaneity, the individuality, the real heart-feltness in it? Where are the flowers just because, not because it's Valentine's Day? Where are the words of affection that are written from the heart, not from the Hallmark factory?

I would love real, honest-to-goodness, personalized romance any day, but especially when it's absent on a day when I'm told I'm supposed to get it (even in mass-market, impersonalized ways) it just really drives the point home.

Trying to spare some of my students the agony of feeling unloved or not as loved as their classmates, I stuffed some extra Valentines into their envelopes. Maybe it wasn't the most honest thing to do, but I didn't want to watch Sophia opening her two Valentines while Poly opened her twelve. As I checked the envelopes, I realized I didn't need to stuff David's because he took care of it for himself!

Preach it, David!

Whether you're in a relationship or not this Valentine's Day, please remember to love yourself!